One of the jobs I had before I do what I do was for a fashion designer. I kept tabs on which factory was producing what garment in what country, when it would ship and to where. When a job opened that would have been a promotion, I thought maybe by virtue of proximity I […]
The Devil and David Sedaris
When I was twelve years old, I snuck a copy of The Amityville Horror to my room and read the whole thing in a day. Then I couldn’t sleep. I love ghost stories. And then I hate them. That night I woke up and left my room with the intention of going upstairs to sleep […]
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Messiah Money
Okay, I confess: I give money to panhandlers. The reason is simple: I don’t like how it feels to avoid eye contact when I pass someone asking for help. I decided if I can hand over a buck without fumbling through my purse, if I feel safe, and am not enticing anyone to cross traffic, […]
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Thank you thighs
Thank you, thighs. Sixteen year-old me would have never dreamed I’d one day appreciate you. I’ve always thought of you as a tad oversized. Thirty or so years ago, I was consistently pissed that you wouldn’t fit well into a reasonably sized pair of Levi’s 501s. Today, it was your muscle and sinew and bone […]
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I didn’t realize that’s what Mark Twain meant
Last weekend I spent a whole Saturday with a bunch of people who wanted to learn more about blogging. It was fun and inspiring if not ground-breakingly informative. Basically it reinforced what I already know but lack the discipline to do: publish shorter stuff. I can do this one of two ways: I can edit […]
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Jedi economics
This summer Jack started mowing lawns. Ours was his training ground for exactly forty minutes. He left a big swatch uncut down the middle of the grass and complained that our lawnmower was too heavy. I fired him. He went over to my mom’s house and mowed her lawn. She overpaid him and gave him […]
