A little part of me believes herself to be Julia Child incarnate. Pesky Julia rarely feels like strutting her stuff when I have a free afternoon and no one to impress. She shows up when I’m pressed for time and need to provide appetizers for a couple dozen people. I should feel lucky, if I’m […]
Losing all my marbles first thing
“Could you check our online account?” Mike yells at me from his office. “My computer’s blocking pop-ups and I can’t figure out how to log in since they upgraded their system.” It’s Saturday, 9 am, and I’m just getting my first cup of coffee and looking at a yard filled with leaves and starting to […]
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I so freaking love these people
Two brothers, give or take six hours between school and bedtime, so many things to fight about. Things like: Who gets shotgun on the ride home. Who got it last time. Who had it all last week, for crissake. Who left the empty Cheetos bag in the back seat for someone else to clean up (righteous indignation […]
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Earplugs are the coolest accessory
Mike and I were at a reception last week for a woman who would deliver the keynote address at a conference the next day. The conference chair and her husband were telling us that our guest of honor had found a note in her room from the hotel manager apologizing in advance for the concert […]
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Get your own scribbled-in copy
I said I never do giveaways, but I lied a little bit. I do that. A few of my friends (okay, maybe one friend) have asked if I’m going to do a book signing for Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness: Funny Stories by Sleepy Moms, and, while I get a little excited about the thought of people […]
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Want to see something REALLY scary?
I don’t think I’m ever one to second-guess other parents … until Halloween. On All Hallows Eve, I transform into Judge Judge-y MacJudgerson. I am that mom. The one who cuts her kids off from trick-or-treating about the time they’re elbowing their way into puberty. I’m not following any developmental guidebook, and I haven’t looked […]
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Things would be different if I were more into cats
I got off the scale the other morning and let everyone know I’m carrying around an extra six pounds. “That’s like a whole baby,” I said. “Not one of our babies,” Mike said. “Maybe a good sized house cat.” If a shoe had been handy, I’d have thrown it at him. I’m not into cats. […]
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Stegosauri, Scooby, and Snail Mail
On NPR last week there was the usual litany: Syria, Isis, Ebola and various other dismal subjects that prompt the boys and me to start more pleasant topics in the car, like laying odds on which of us would most likely survive a Zombie Apocalypse (do not bet on mom), or what the boys would do with […]
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About that chicken …
When Colin was little he was enthusiastic about chicken drumsticks. “I lo-o-ove this chicken on a bone,” he’d say. I should mention he was around four, I think, and fond of asking where his food came from – did corn grow on trees? What about potatoes? Clearly we are an urban household. One that doesn’t engage […]
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So many things I’d rather be doing
I have never been able to get in and out of a Best Buy in fewer than three hours, and without having fended off at least half a dozen sales guys and fielded offers of enough warrantees and insurance to nearly double the cost of whatever I’m buying. I’m going to go out on a […]
