I so freaking love these people

boysTwo brothers, give or take six hours between school and bedtime, so many things to fight about.

Things like:

Who gets shotgun on the ride home.

Who got it last time.

Who had it all last week, for crissake.

Who left the empty Cheetos bag in the back seat for someone else to clean up (righteous indignation being best expressed by flinging said Cheetos bag into the way back – indicating that mom apparently is the “someone else”).

Who gets what flavor of sucker at the drive-up teller (hey, parents of toddlers, you actually think this phase goes away? Lookit how cute you are).

Coke versus Pepsi.

Alien versus Predator.

Matrix versus Terminator.

Touching someone’s hair … or sleeve … or stuff.

The remote possibility of even thinking about touching anything belonging to or in the immediate vicinity of another person.

Whether a reality television show where you kidnap someone who knows nothing about cars, and teach them all about cars in an hour or less would be exciting.

…or annoying.

Whether you could domesticate a tiger if you raised it from birth,

… if it were legal to keep a tiger as a pet,

… and the tiger had a dog brain transplanted into it.

Slap fights.

Kick fights.


Arm wrestling.

Setting the dinner table.

Arm wrestling while setting the dinner table.

Eating dinner too loudly.

Breathing too loudly.

Breathing AT ALL.

Your face.

No YOUR face.

Nuh uh, YOUR FACE!

EVERYBODY’S freaking FACE needs to be out of HERE and in his OWN ROOM in the next FIVE MINUTES or mom’s going to LOSE IT!

That’s better. Cocktail, anyone?


Did you catch that I’m giving away an autographed copy of Motherhood, May Cause Drowsiness? It’s true. Details here.


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  1. I would love to hear more about the dog-tiger! hahaha oh I miss BOY conversations and weird spontaneous wrastling matches! My firstborn is a boy, he\’s a big yucky teenager now who would never stop to talk about domesticating dog tigers anymore 🙁 now I have little girls, the elder of which likes to play dress-up and have tea parties and it\’\’s cute and all, but SO MUCH LESS FUN than dinosaurs and tigers and ninjas! I\’m a boy mom, struggling through Disney\’s Frozen (BARF!) and all the other glittery girly stuff, trying to smile. And when it\’s MY turn to pick the movie? I pick Star Wars!
    Seriously though, a tiger with a dog\’s brain would be amazing!

    1. The dog-tiger conversation, like so many others, here and gone in a flash. But yes, so much fun.

      I\’m going to admit to never having seen Frozen yet, although I think I know the words to all the songs from listening to other people\’s little girls.

      Don\’t hate me.