Take our kid, Jack. No matter what you want to talk about, Jack will patiently wait for the opportunity to tell you how it relates how great Lamborghinis are, what his favorite Lamborghini is, and how many Lamborghinis he plans to buy the next time we win the lottery.
And he’s perfectly patient with the fact that we really mess up our odds of winning the lottery by not ever buying lottery tickets.
“Mom, there’s a story behind the Lamborghini, did you know?”
The fact that the Lamborghini has been the topic of conversation on every car ride we’ve taken in the last seven months or so, and I hadn’t heard this, is what’s kind of amazing.
And, just so you know, I’m not going to freaking verify what I’m telling you. I’m just sharing it. It is the Not-So-Official-History-of-the-Lamborghini which may be true or not, but Jack’s sticking with it.
“So, Lamborghini was a guy who made tractors, right? And he made a lot of tractors and made a lot of money and decided ‘hey, I’ve made a lot of money, I’m going to buy a Ferrari.’”
“Hmm. I’ll bet he didn’t say that.” I say. “I’ll bet he said ‘So, I make-a the money. I’m a gonna go get a new, a-fancy owtow.’”
Really, you have to work with me here. Just say this word phonetically: owtow. Now wave an limp-wristed, upward-pointed pinchy sign with your thumb and middle finger. Now imagine you’re the spaghetti chef in Lady and the Tramp.
Go on. Try it. I’ll wait.
[ … ]
“So Lamborghini goes and buys a Ferrari,” Jack says. Ignoring my Lady and the Tramp Italian chef imitation, “and first thing happens? The car breaks down.”
“Now what-sa the deal-a with my new a-fancy owtow?”
“No, mom, now stop it. Mom. Stop.”
You’re right, that was a little over the top. Next time, more Italian chef, less Jar Jar Binks.
“So sorry. Go on.”
“So he goes to Ferrari, the guy who makes the car and he says –- “
“Oh, wait, I got it, I know what he said. Can I?”
“No mom, you have to stop.”
“I … it’s just … this is going to … I can’t stop it from happening.”
“Okay, get it out of your system.”
“Senior! Senior Ferrari! Why your owtow, it gotta suck-a so much-a?”
Ah, jeez, I crack myself up. I wipe away a tear or two.
“There you go. Is that better now?”
I know. That was random. Just pretend you’re laughing with me and vote, please.