This weekend’s swim meet induced a weighty case of sports anxiety in my eleven year-old. I know. Swimming? Sports anxiety? What’s going on, Richie Incognito in the locker room? Both boys have participated in rec league swim team for the last six summers – on advice from their swim instructor when I complained after multiple […]
You’re welcome, parents.
A message to my fellow bumbling parents: you are totally welcome. I know. You were prepared to hate my guts when your kid brought home a brightly colored, hand-written thank you note from my kid. How dare she browbeat her child into saying thank you in writing, you thought. And top it all off with […]
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Flight delay. Poop.
You left Tuesday with your carry-on bag and toiletry kit, And I think you said business in Houston, or Baltimore. Your mom can’t believe I don’t ask for flight info, a hotel number And what car rental company you’re using, But I know we can Facetime whenever, So what does it matter where you […]
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Stuff you should know
Yesterday, Mike showed me an article on “54 Things Everyone Should Know.” On first glance I saw: you should know how to build a fire without matches, and you should know basic first aid. I was immediately stressed because my first aid card is out of date. And I’m not very good at building a […]
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Reason #7 Bajillion
Jack preordered a game for his Xbox some time ago and has been ticking off the days until its arrival. Our Amazon account is actually set up to deliver to Mike’s office, which ensures someone’s always available to sign for a delivery. Depending upon your perspective, this arrangement has additional upsides. I do love the […]
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What will YOU be wearing for the Apocalypse?
I just had to tell my child to change his clothes. He’s not wearing anything inappropriate for a Saturday afternoon of football-watching and Minecraft-playing, but I’m pretty sure he’s had on the same long-sleeved camouflage shirt and cargo pants since I yelled at him to put on something warmer or I wouldn’t let him go […]
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Seriously, there was never a ‘Timmy’…
A few years ago, I wrote an article about the merits of the Love and Logic™ parenting model. It seemed like such a tidy method: give kids a few rules to live by, be consistent in upholding those rules, and then be empathetic without saving their bacon when they suffer the consequences of not following […]
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Damn you, sweater
One of the jobs I had before I do what I do was for a fashion designer. I kept tabs on which factory was producing what garment in what country, when it would ship and to where. When a job opened that would have been a promotion, I thought maybe by virtue of proximity I […]
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The Devil and David Sedaris
When I was twelve years old, I snuck a copy of The Amityville Horror to my room and read the whole thing in a day. Then I couldn’t sleep. I love ghost stories. And then I hate them. That night I woke up and left my room with the intention of going upstairs to sleep […]
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Messiah Money
Okay, I confess: I give money to panhandlers. The reason is simple: I don’t like how it feels to avoid eye contact when I pass someone asking for help. I decided if I can hand over a buck without fumbling through my purse, if I feel safe, and am not enticing anyone to cross traffic, […]
