When I was twelve years old, I snuck a copy of The Amityville Horror to my room and read the whole thing in a day. Then I couldn’t sleep. I love ghost stories. And then I hate them. That night I woke up and left my room with the intention of going upstairs to sleep […]
Messiah Money
Okay, I confess: I give money to panhandlers. The reason is simple: I don’t like how it feels to avoid eye contact when I pass someone asking for help. I decided if I can hand over a buck without fumbling through my purse, if I feel safe, and am not enticing anyone to cross traffic, […]
Share this:
Thank you thighs
Thank you, thighs. Sixteen year-old me would have never dreamed I’d one day appreciate you. I’ve always thought of you as a tad oversized. Thirty or so years ago, I was consistently pissed that you wouldn’t fit well into a reasonably sized pair of Levi’s 501s. Today, it was your muscle and sinew and bone […]
Share this:
I didn’t realize that’s what Mark Twain meant
Last weekend I spent a whole Saturday with a bunch of people who wanted to learn more about blogging. It was fun and inspiring if not ground-breakingly informative. Basically it reinforced what I already know but lack the discipline to do: publish shorter stuff. I can do this one of two ways: I can edit […]
Share this:
Jedi economics
This summer Jack started mowing lawns. Ours was his training ground for exactly forty minutes. He left a big swatch uncut down the middle of the grass and complained that our lawnmower was too heavy. I fired him. He went over to my mom’s house and mowed her lawn. She overpaid him and gave him […]
Share this:
They got cows at Ikea?
I lived in the dorms for a semester in college. My roommate and I acquired a mottled rust and orange colored shag carpet remnant to cover the tile. The cinder block walls had been painted aquamarine. Somebody made light of the color by taping a paper puffer fish to the door – one of those […]
Share this:
All this place probably needs is a Stick Up
Once, early on in our marriage, I came home for lunch and there was a dirty glass on the counter with a note next to it: “Dearest Wife, “Might I gently suggest that your habit of drinking V-8 without rinsing out the vessel afterward might have a lot to do why so many of our […]
Share this:
Another baby? No thanks. How about a koala?
I was at a picnic last week holding a friend’s adorable one year-old grandbaby when someone said the thing someone always says when a woman of a certain age is caught holding someone else’s baby: “whoa oh, look out, she’s going want another one.” Really? Can I just say on behalf of all women out […]
Share this:
A send off for Betty Jean
It was totally MIke’s idea to invite my Grandma to move in, and it wasn’t until she did that I realized I hadn’t ever been able to spend any time with her while I was growing up. In fact, I didn’t know her at all. As we helped her unpack her stuff, I came across […]
Share this:
Babs and the laundry
Jack asked yesterday if his friend could come over. Mike looked at me to see if we had plans that would conflict with such a visit and I shrugged. “Sure,” he said. “Nick can come by for a couple of hours.” Jack hesitated. “Okay, um, could you put on some pants?” “Wait, what? These aren’t […]
